A BITTERSWEET TREAT: Myself watching Qualfying for the FIA Formula 2 Championship at Silverstone, via my Television at home whilst Self-Isolating, on Friday July 16th 2021

Sitting here, typing this website piece – when I should have instead been enjoying the 29C heat and the glory of the Formula 1 Pirelli British Grand Prix 2021; within my Club Corner Block A seat, very much symbolises the challenge and the annoyance that this extraordinary year, that has gripped my bones, mind and soul.

Without question first of all, upon receiving Thursday morning’s “Ping” by NHS Test and Trace, I was never not going to follow its advice; particularly with one’s employer having a COVID-19 policy which makes it clear that anyone who is notified, should follow its requirement. And I firstly state a massive kudos to the Birmingham 2022 Health and Safety team, who have been utterly faultless when it comes to ensuring COVID safety within the workplace.

The agony of having to see this weekend’s spectacular proceedings, from the dining table chair and not among the biggest crowd for a Government Research Event; particularly knowing the PM and Chancellor have today and unsurprisingly had originally been placed within a trial of “Daily Contact Testing”, deepens my anger at what is the most RECKLESS, shameful and disgusting bunch of incompetents, ever let us on the leavers of Government in our nation's history and confirms the mantra that it is one rule them and another for the rest.

It’s that feeling of missing out and wondering what could have been and should be, has shaped my thoughts about 2021 in a nutshell, on top of various pressures at home and knowing I need to get into full shape and being fully honest, has made my mind a rather weird place.

Knowing that I am still the only member of my household, who is in employment and thus the only income earner, makes me full of both regret and deep sadness. This has been a massive element of stress, which has been placed upon my shoulders – with how the nation has had a financial squeeze like no other and the brutal way that the Pandemic has placed such a large burden on families.

This, added on to other elements and things, which has on many a day caused sheer chaos in my household: has made it sometimes the definition of hell to live within. I genuinely fear not just for myself, but very much my Mother, thanks to the way which fallouts between brothers are fairly regular and on my many a day, has meant me wishing to curl into a ball. Things are being resolved at present, but it has certainly played a massive part.

No doubt too – the wonder of Politics and feeling that I have seen things slip away, has been a secondary factor as to why this year has felt a nightmare. Of course; the opportunity to stand back on May 6^th was one I am forever grateful for and the progress The Labour Party made in Tettenhall Wightwick, is something that I will never under estimate.

However, since then and based on many a conversation, I feel extremely conflicted as to what my political future holds, with some giving me immense encouragement to run again in 2022, but others being blunt and stating one should get my career sorted – particularly post the Commonwealth Games. I fully understand what both sides think, but it fully has put my mind in a pickle, that committing one way than another will see further opportunities slip through my fingers.

I can’t help have felt utterly shattered, that the first Election I stood within, was in a totally hopeless ward for my party and thus seeing others benefit and WINNING IN PLACES, THAT I SHOULD BE WITHIN, truly makes me wonder what else I have to do – expect to continue to build relationships with the right people and strike the right balance between my career and political ambitions. It also does not help, that I was screwed over in TWO separate selection contests, which saw two candidates, successfully switch wards having been originally selected elsewhere and see me losing such a golden opportunity. That practice is the definition of dirty politics and it must stop, otherwise the Electors will continue to reject us!

I am sure that my engagement through the West Midlands Young Combined Authority will help; particularly with the development of Scrutiny and Public Speaking I have had (through the Transport Scrutiny Sub-Committee and WMCA Board) and I just hope that such things will be much more considered by my party and the people, who ultimately determine who gets the nod. A failure to do so, would be catastrophic for Labour’s future and leave us in a deeper mire across our region.

Also seeing others be able to do things including TedX Talks (which by the way Wolverhampton’s edition was a terrific watch!), puts my mind in a spin, as to HOW I am going to be able to do such things. Those things in general, have seriously questioned my capability, my resilience and what else I can achieve in representation circles, and I am more than happy, for practical and mindful advice to come my way.

And the other big factor – which has made me feel annoyed, is the way which COVID- has been handled and thus is a big reason, as to why my Summer plans have gone down the loo. If things had gone right and well, I would both been in Glasgow on June 22^nd, for Scotland’s EURO 2020 defeat to Croatia and would have been at The Home Of Motorsport this day, soaking up an occasion that I had been waiting for since March 31^st!

Several visits to games in the Rugby League World Cup maybe in October and November, alongside the goodness of STEPS on November 6^th, but that is all that remains socially to date. The joy of being in places, with people and sharing a common cause, makes typing this and doing so indoors, a real pain in the backside and excels a feeling of loneliness and depression on to my shoulders. At least with Payday coming up and a 2^nd Vaccine on August 25^th, Silverstone will finally see me for the MotoGP, and nothing will stop me, from being able to express my passions in 6 weeks’ time – even if its 6 weeks later than planned and much spent for.



With all of this having hit the mind and spent me into a conflicting spin, I will be reaching out to some projects soon that I will feel will give me that boost I need and hopefully give me an avenue to engage with others; particularly disabled people, who feel in the same kind of situation.

And on that, I very much wish to give the biggest thanks to my Birmingham 2022 colleagues, my Young Combined Authority colleagues, Solutions for the Planet, many within the Labour and Co-operative Party’s, Changing Our Lives and my amazing future Silverstone Race Makers, for being a huge pillar in my journey and life. Such understanding and appreciation, has made things much more bearable and still giving me a good number of things – whether 2 further CA Board speeches, Solutions Big Ideas judging and now becoming an Advisory Board member, May 6^th’s candidacy, my Apprenticeship alongside my work role, which is developing me a strong rate and engagement online, with a dedicated and simply marvellous bunch of motorsport lovers, whose passion is used in volunteering fabulously.

All is certainly not lost, but very much feel that I am in Post Malone’s words “Running in Circles” with my life, career and ambitions and all support to find me the right paths – along with keeping me well, would mean the world.